Irish Eyes Are Weeping

Ladies and Gentleman, I would like to talk about my Dublin Dandy, my Belfast Belter, my Kilkenny KilCrooner, she's the Limerick lady with gams the size of Galway and teeth more crooked than a road in Tipperary: Carly Smithson!

It has come to my attention that many of you dislike, nay, despise, my Donegal Dame (ok i'm done with that now), and I understand. She has a great voice but, yes, she reeks of desperation when she's on stage. She just tries so hard, and it can become so very off-putting. She dresses, and looks, as Liz put it, like a 50 year-old divorcee and that whole "once had a recording contract with a major label and then her CD tanked" thing still lingers. But c'mon! When she's good she can be really good!

The judges don't even like her anymore! You can't argue that she's getting JordinSparks'd into the finale undeservingly, the Dawg is too busy creaming his manties over Archuletta, and Simon has major boners for David Cook. Speaking of the Archulator, he is the one who deserves all our ire for his pageant performances and songs about imaginary troubling life experiences he has never had. For the love of God, Kristy Lee Cook is still on the show! So can we cool it on the Carly hating? Because, and this is the most important part, she is #2 in my idol pool and I swear to jebus if you guys mess this up for me I will turn this blog right around and we will go home and there will be no Fribbles for anyone!

And so, for my Ballykissangel Babe (I promise that's the last one), here is how she can come in 2nd place this season on Idol. I view Carly much like Kat McPhee from season 5. Kat was considered a long shot around top 7 week, with front runners like Daughtry and Paris Bennet standing in her way, and Carly also has some major contenders standing in her path this year. Here is a short term goal for Mariah Carey week: sing something fun! Like maybe Emotions, or Fantasy. She just needs to keep it light and enjoy herself. Maybe if she stops furrowing her brow and making constipation faces when she sings people will warm up to her.

If she keeps it light during MC week I think she'll get somewhat back in the running and Syesha will get the boot. Then, during top 6 week, no matter what the category, I think Kristy Lee will finally get the boot as the truly crappy don't usually last beyond the top 6 (see kellie pickler). So now we're in the top 5 with the Davids, Brooke and Jason. It's at this point that hopefully Carly has achieved some long term goals: dressing like a young person, singing a string of happy songs, and changing her "if I lose I will kill myself in front of all of you" attitude. With these changes she can outlast Brooke at the top 5, survive the shocking elimination of David Cook in the final four, and squeak by Jason Castro into the finale. This would not be in the exact order I originally predicted but would still safely give me the office pool victory and isn't completely beyond reason.

On the other hand, Carly could scream "I'd Give My All" and get sent home tomorrow. But I'm holding out hope, that my Upper Grangerosnolvinshire....girl...will come through!