Best Top 12 Evs?

One thing we have been hearing this season, on a rather consistent basis, is that this is the most talented group of contestants ever. Now, if it was just Randy and Paula saying this it would be one thing because they actually say it every season. But the producers seem pretty intent on ramming it down our throats with ridiculous statements like "We finally get to use the Lennon/McCartney song book because the contestants are just so talented they couldn't refuse." As if they legal team in charge of those songs had a meeting that went like this:
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Corporate Lawyer One:

Good evening gentlemen, I know every year American Idol asks us to use the songbook but I really think we should consider it this time.

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Corporate Lawyer Two:

I don't know. Didn't we already decide that these songs were too precious to be potentially butchered in some karaoke contest? That's why we only allow them to be used in commercials for the Olympics, invest banks, sneakers, toilet paper, and TrimSpa.

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Corporate Lawyer One:

I know but have you heard the contestants this year? They are just so talented!

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Corporate Lawyer two:

OMG I know! And little David Archuletta is just so precious! OK, let's do it!!!

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Anyway, I thought the best way to judge just how great these contestants are would be to compare them to the other 6 groups of finalists. I will split them into guys and girls and then rank each season 1-7. Important note: I will not be factoring in success after Idol. If that was the case then obviously seasons 1, 3, and 4 would have considerable advantages having produced Grammy and Oscar winners. We'll just be looking at how good the contestants were within the season in which they participated. Let's start with the guys!

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Season 1 Guys: Justin Guarini, RJ Helton, A.J. Gill, Jim Verraros, Ejay Day.

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I can not stress how craptastic, and gay (homosexual gay, not stupid gay) this group of contestants was. In fairness this was Idol's first season and they didn't have the reputation to pull in a lot of talented people but good lord these guys were bad. The top 10 performances by both Ejay Day and Jim Verraros would now get them spots as one of the "so bad they're funny" contestants. Not to mention Ejay Day's face is scary and he spells his first name E-J-A-Y. Gross. AJ Gill was so bad I can't even find a clip of him on youtube to prove how bad he was, and RJ Helton and Justin Guarini were passable singers with no charisma. This was by far the easiest decision. Rank: 7th

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Season 1 Girls: Kelly Clarkson, Tamyra Gray, Nikki McKibbin, Christina Christian, Ryan Starr.

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This season of women is surprisingly strong considering it was Idol's first. Obviously Kelly Clarkson has had a strong career since Idol, but she was so darn likable and talented that I'm pretty sure she could have come close to winning, if not outright win, in any other season. Also, Kelly wasn't even the most talented girl that season; that title goes to Tamyra Gray who absolutely owns this rendition of "A House is Not a Home." Christina Christian was harmless and beautiful, and yeah Nikki McKibbin and Ryan Starr kinda sucked but all in all this was a good group. Rank: 3rd

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Season 2 Guys: Clay Aiken, Ruben Studdard, Josh Gracin, Rickey Smith, Corey Clark, Charles Grigsby

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So this group is odd because of the insane drop off between the 2 great contestants and the 2 OK ones, and again between the 2 good ones and the 2 insanely bad ones. However because the 2 great guys, Clay and Ruben, were so great this season, (and yeah I know their careers tanked afterwards and now Clay Aiken is playing a supporting role in Spamalot) I ranked them pretty high. If you don't believe how awesome Clay Aiken or Ruben could be on any given night please watch Clay sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water", and Ruben sing "Superstar". And yeah Corey Clark was most well known for getting arrested during the season and the other guys were boring but whatevs. Rank: 3rd

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Season 2 Girls: Kimberly Locke, Kim Caldwell, Julia Damato, Carmen Rasmussen, Trenyce, Vanessa Olivarez

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This group should have had one major addition in the form of Frenchie Davis. Unfortunately Frenchie flashed her titays all over the interweb so she was disqualified (In case you were wondering that does indeed mean you can be a gay nude male stripper but you can't show your chest). The only good contestant here (in terms of actual talent not level of comic relief provided by their mom - I'm talking about you Julia Damato) was Kimberly Locke. Carmen Rasmussen had a goat vibrato, Kim Caldwell was a bitch, Trenyce had no last name, and who the hell is Vanessa Olivarez? If we were ranking this season based on hilarity of a contestant's mom obviously these girls would be near the top thanks to the hard work of Julia Damato's hat-wearin', scene-stealin', stylin' and profilin' madre. Alas im judging on talent so...Rank: 7th

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Season 3 Guys: George Huff, John Stevens, Jon Peter Lewis, Matthew Rogers

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You may have noticed that there only 4 guys listed. This was before Idol mandated that there had to be 6 guys and 6 girls in the finals and the contestants were so weak that only 4 qualified. I almost ranked them 7th but only one of these guys, John Stevens, was truly horrible so they escaped. Seriously these guys were all really boring and there's nothing more to say about them. Rank: 6th

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Season 3 Girls: Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia Barrino, LaToya London, Diana DeGarmo, Jasmine Trias, Amy Adams, Camile Velasco, Leah LaBelle

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This season contains my favorite Idol contestant of all-time: Ms Jennifer Hudson. It also featured the "Battle of the Divas" which produced this trifecta of amazingness from Ms. Hudson, Ms. Barrino, and Ms. London. In fact J-Hud's verison of weekend in New England is my favorite idol performance of all-time. Diana DeGarmo was pretty good too. I don't think any crop of girls will replace this one as my all-time favorite. Rank: 1st

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Season 4 Guys: Bo Bice, Anthony Federov, Scott Savol, Constantine Maroulis, Anwar Robinson, Niko Smith

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I have to admit that this was, overall, my least favorite season. I thought there were lot of blah contestants on both sides of the gender aisle. I attribute this to the fact that Carrie Underwood auditioned and they realized she was destined to win so they surrounded her with crap so she could breeze through. Anyway this group should contain Mario Vazquez but he quit and, like the season 2 girls, the absence of probably the most talented contestant really hurts. Bo Bice tried his best but these guys were seriously lacking which you may have realized when you read their names and thought, "Wait, who?" Rank: 4th

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Season 4 Girls: Carrie Underwood, Vonzell Solomon, Jessica Sierra, Nadia Turner, Lindsey Cardinale, Mikalah Gordon

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This season actually seems really similar to the current crop of female talent. There is one really good girl who seems destined to outlast all the rest (re: Carrie and Carly) and already has a recording-studio quality voice (or in Carly's case actually already had a record deal) and then a bunch of boring people. None of these girls were that great and, beside Nadia Turner's bitchin' faux-hawk and Mikalah Gordon's uncanny resemblance to the Nanny named Fran, none of them were memorable. In fact, besides Carrie's pretty awesome version of "Alone", I challenge you to find me one truly great performance form these girls. Rank: 6th

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Season 5 Guys: Chris Daughtry, Taylor Hicks, Elliot Yamin, Ace Young, Bucky Covington, Kevin Covais

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Without actually doing the research I feel pretty safe in asserting that this group of gentlemen have sold more records than any other group of male finalists. Daughtry has sold a couple million records, I'm pretty sure Elliot Yamin's album went gold and Taylor Hicks...realesaed a record? I think? But, as I stated earlier, post-show success is now how we measure these things. Season 5 was Idol's highest rated season and Hicks (even though I hated him), Daughtry (who was boring) and Yamin (love) were a big part of that. They were each unique and talented and probably rank among the best male contestants ever, all in the same season. Also, Ace Young gave me the vapors. This was a really hard decision, where does this season place? I think the names "Bucky Covington" and "Kevin Covais" preclude me from listing them first. Rank: 2nd

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Season 5 Girls: Katharine McPhee, Paris Bennett, Kellie Pickler, Mandisa, Lisa Tucker, Melissa McGee

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Season 5 really had some strong contestants! In terms of overall singing talent these girls weren't all amazing (Kellie Pickler singing Bohemin Rhapsody anyone?) but they were all really entertaining. I actually think Lisa Tucker could have been Jordin Sparks if she had just auditioned a year later, Paris Bennett was great, Mandisa was good (but she hates the gays so we have to deduct points there), and Katharine McPhee gave one of the best idol peformances ever. This was really close but I couldn't put them ahead of my season 3 girls and, as Liz posted earlier, Melissa McGee was horrible and we have to at least asknowledge she existed. Rank: 2nd

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Season 6 Guys: Blake Lewis, Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey, Sanjaya, Chris Sligh, Brandon Rogers

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Man this was not a good group of guys. I had completely forgotten about Brandon Rogers and this was only 1 season ago. Chris Richardson, when told by Simon that he was too nasally, belssed us with this gem: "Nasally is a type of singing you know." Yeah a bad tpye of singing. In Chris's defense he did have a #1 hit on the Adult Contemporary Nasal charts just last week. Blake was fine but Chris Sligh and Phil were pretty lame, and Sanjaya was...well...AWESOME. Unfortunately he was awesome in the meta-ironic-enjoyment way and not in the actually-being-talented way. Yowza. Rank: 5th

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Season 6 Girls: Jordin Sparks, Melinda Doolittle, Lakisha Jones, Gina Glocksen, Haley Scarnato, Stephanie Edwards

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This top 6 split pretty evenly between the 3 really good contestants (Sparks, Dolittle, Jones) and those other 3 girls. Haley Scarnato gets some bonus points from me for realizing that she could stay in the competition by showing off her gams and then proceeding to get more naked every week. But really there were only 3 good girls this season, and 2 of them looked like Shrek. Rank: 4th

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Season 7 Guys: David Achuleta, David Cook, David Hernandez, Michael Johns, Jason Castro, Chikezie

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It is going to be hard to rank this season as we have yet to see what these contestants will do in the finals but I think there's a good idea of what they're capable of and what they've done so far. So are these really the most talented guys ever? Juding on talent, uniqueness, and potential to win, I think I have to say...yes. I would not be suprised if David A, David C, or Michael won this whole thing. It's conceivable that Daivd Hernandez could catch fire or Jason Castro's brand of indie-hippie-folk-rock somehow survives the inevitable Latin or Disco Night. The only guy here who has NO chance of doing well is Chikezie and I actually think he'd fare much better in almost any other season. These guys are as unique as season 5 but, overall, have more singing talent. The Idol graveyard is littered with untalented boys, so maybe being the most talented group of guys is like being the world's tallest midget, or the highest rated show on the CW, or the least gay member of A Chorus Line. Still, these guys seem to be the best. Rank: 1st

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Season 7 Girls: Carly Smithson, Brooke White, Ramiele Mulabay, Syesha Mercado, Amanda Overmyer, Kristy Lee Cook

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Well the guys have proved the Idol Producers right, what about the girls? Alas, the forecast is nto so sunny. As I mentioned earlier when discussing season 4 there is one girl who is clearly better than everyone else (Carly), and then a bunch of "blah" contestants. I think the one excpetion with season 7 is Brooke White who has managed to string together 2 pretty great, melisma-free, classy peformances (including my favorite performance by a girl this season). But c'mon, does anyone believe she could actually win? Does anyone think ANY of these girls can win besides Carly? I say no. Rank: 5th

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So let's review the rankings for the guys:

1. Season 7
2. Season 5
3. Season 2
4. Season 4
5. Season 6
6. Season 3
7. Season 1

And for the Girls:

1. Season 3
2. Season 5
3. Season 1
4. Season 6
5. Season 7
6. Season 4
7. Season 2

So how does this all add up? Well if you assign point values to each season based on their rank, then the lowest number would give you the most talented season. For example: Season 4 got a rank of 6 for the girls and 4 for the guys, which would give them a score of 10. So let's add it up and see what we get!

1. Season 5 (4 points)
2. Season 7 (6 points)
3. Season 3 (7 points)
4. Season 6 (9 points)
5. Season 4 (10 points)
6. Season 2 (10 points)
7. Season 1 (10 points)

So there you have it. Based on my completely scientific, and irrefutable analysis the most talented season was actually season 5. I hope you have enjoyed this little jaunt through idol history. OH! One last thing. RIP Danny Noriega, you were by far the best part of this season!