In interest of full disclosure I must admit I have recently become a complete and unabashed mega-fan of America's Next Top Model. It all started early one saturday afternoon: I happened to flip on vh1 and what to my wondering eyes did appear but an insane Tyra Banks and eight tiny...ummmm I can't think of anything to rhyme with "appear" but let's just say it was the season when THIS happened, and you would have watched that entire cycle in one sitting as well. k
Anyway, if this blog had existed when cycle 9 began I definitely would have kept a running commentary, and plan to do so for cycles 10 through 5,673, but jumping in mid-season seemed wrong.
k
The reason I'm breaking my self-imposed silence is because one contestant has captivated me in a way unmatched by all past modelettes. Her name is Jenah and she looks like this:
Now, there have most definitely been, as Tyra would say, "uniquely beautiful" contestants like this in the past, but with each passing moment Jenah takes her fug to new heights. Granted it's not all her fault as three episodes into the season Tyra glued that dead albino muskrat to her head, but never, my friends, has any model seemed so destined to win an entirely different competition: "America's Next Top Shelley Duval."
k
The real reason I'm writing this post, however, is that when Jenah takes pictures, she somehow, miraculously, look like this:
WHAT?! And that's like, the worst picture she's taken this season. She has become the Harry Houdini of ANTM. Just when you're certain she couldn't possibly escape those chains (of her own ugliness), she does!
To be totally honest I'm rooting for exactly two things right now: 1) somehow she continues to get uglier in real-life (and I mean like cystic acne, missing limbs, Grendel's-mom kinda ugly), and 2) her pictures look awesome anyway. Truly, this is the only way to save this cycle now that AutisticHeather is gone and the front runner is Toodie from the Facts of Life.
ps - that last sentence actually makes sense if you watch the show. yeah, ANTM is that awesome.
3 comments:
LOL at "America's Next Top Shelley Duval."
Classic Ross.
Who wouldn't watch that show? Shelley could host...I don't think she's doing anything else.
Every time I manage to catch ANTM it is always the cycle you referenced (with Naima and Lluvy and Tiffany etc.), to the point where I think I have watched that cycle in its entirety about three times and have maybe seen one other episode from any other cycle. My favorite photo shoot is the zodiac one, especially because they made Lluvy be the fish.
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