Idol Countdown: #9-7

There have been lots of Idol contestants throughout the years who have, how shall we say this delicately, been pimped to the high heavens by the judges even though they suck balls. This practice really kicked into high gear in recent season when people like David Archuletta were told they were "molten hott lava bombs" even though they had clearly forgotten the words and sang their last note flat.

But there is one person who I feel gets a bad rap. And She occupies the #9 Spot on my countdown:

#9: Jordin Sparks - A Broken Wing



So right away I know you're thinking: if I'm gonna put Jordin Sparks in this countdown I should go with "I Who Have Nothing." I agree, she did well with that song, but I think that one gets more credit than it deserves because it was her first great performance. This song came afterwards, and it was better, but people were just a little more prepared to see it.

But getting back to contestant-pimping, there was a point during this season where it became so clear that the producers wanted Jordin to win that we actually started calling the practice of pimping contestants: Sparksing. However I think, in retrospect, this was unfair to Jordin. She was a fine contestant. Actually other than Melinda she was probably the best that season.

What I'm saying is this: Was Jordin told she was awesome every week even if she wasn't? Yes. Were the judges particularly effusive with their comments? Well, Paula did tell Jordin she was, and I can't make this up, a "gift from heaven". So, yes. Did the producers give her the best clothes and only shoot her in the most flattering way possible? You betcha. But that doesn't take away from the fact that Jordin sang this song REALLY well.

#8: Diana Degarmo - Don't Cry Out Loud



In the history of Idol glory notes, the one Diana rips into around the 1:40 mark, that lasts until the 1:55 mark (15 seconds!), is the single greatest ever. It literally sounds like it will never end. And she doesn't even appear to be out of breath. You have the feeling she could sing that note for a good 2 minutes if she had to.

Also, Diana was kind of like the original Jordin Sparks, except she was a better singer. She was 16, cute, completely innocuous, and had a nice pop voice. Her only problem was she was in the same season as Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson so she was a little overshadowed. Put Diana on season 6 of Idol, instead of Jordin, she could have won. Also, RED PALAZZO PANTS. 'Nuff said.


#7: Katharine McPhee - Over The Rainbow



We might look back on Season 5 of American Idol and realize it was the best ever. It probably had more talent than any other season, along with a wonderful mix of people like Kellie Pickler and Bucky Covington for comedic relief. And out of all the season 5 performances this is my favorite...by a female (we'll get to the other one later).

Kat could be really infuriating at times, with her pension for over-singing and poor song choices. But on this night Simon picked the song, and pretty much demanded she sing it simply, and beautifully. I really don't know what else to say about this song...there's nothing to make fun of. It's just kind of a perfect little piece of singing, and that deserves recognition. OH! Also, as an official friend of Dorothy, I would like Kat to know she has done us proud.



So next week the countdown will feature it's first, but not last, dude. Also, we'll take another journey back to Season 1, where the gypsy-chic motif continues to dominate. See you then!

Countdown: My Top 10 Idol Peformances Ever!

We're back!

So, L&MDJers, it's been a while. Liz and I took an extended break from blogging about Idol (as Idol took an extended break from existing), and from blogging in general. "Why?", you ask. Well, life happens. Some of us are busy with jobs, thriving improv careers, and exciting new relationships, while others are busy getting drunk every night at sing-a-long piano bars that cater to elder gay men by exclusively playing musical standards like "Edelweiss". Ahhh, life.

Anywho, in honor of the upcoming 8th, yes 8th, season of AI, I've decided to countdown my 10 favorite Idol performances ever. But before we get to my #10 pick, there are some rules to go over.

1) These are MY favorite Idol performances. So there will be moments that aren't on this list because, although I realize they are great, they are not MY favorites.

2) This is only a top 10 list. I could probably list my 30 favorite performances, and this particular post will contain my honorable mentions, but that seems a little much.

3) Where the contestant placed, and where their careers have gone since, in no way factors into my decision. For example, Carrie Underwood doesn't get a spot on my list because, although she's sold 5 billion country albums, she was basically a lobotomized fembot the entire time she was on AI. Seriously, if anyone has a clip of her moving her facial muscles, or NOT swaying awkwardly during fast songs, I would love to see it.

So before I reveal my #10 pick, here are my honorable mentions, and my "yeah I know others think these are awesome but I'm just not as into them":

Some Honorable Mentions - Justin Guarini "Get Here"; Kelly Clarkson "Respect"; Kimberly Locke "Over The Rainbow", "New York State of Mind", and "Inseperable"; Ruben Studdard "Superstar"; LaToya London "All By Myself", "Somewhere"; Jennifer Hudson "Circle of Life"; Paris Bennet "These Foolish Things"; Melinda Doolittle "Home"; Lakisha Jones "This Ain't a Love Song"; Brooke White "Love is a Battlefield"; Jason Castro "Over the Rainbow"

Other People's Faves - Kelly Clarkson "Stuff Like That There"; Clay Aiken "Solitaire"; Carrie Underwood "Alone"; Bo Bice "In a Dream"; Chris Daughtry "Hemorrhage"; Anything Taylor Hicks ever did; Blake Lewis "You Give Love a Bad Name"; Any David Cook song; David Archuletta "Imagine"; Jason Castro "Hallelujah"

OK, so hopefully that will appease those who don't see their favorites on my completely scientific and indisputable list of Idol perfection.

#10: Kelly Clarkson - "Don't Play That Song"







Ok, so after all my rules and standards my first entry is kind of a cop-out. I love Kelly Clarkson. And throughout her run on Idol she had a lot of good performances, but never one defining moment. It's funny because, since Kelly, every Idol winner has that one song everyone remembers them performing.

But anyway, I think out of all Kelly's good performances, this one is her best. She kills all the high notes with infuriating (if you're a singer) ease. She growls and mugs in all the right places. She wears some kind of asymmetrical gypsy/hooker outfit. It's perfect. I am convinced that Kelly would have finished in the top 3, if not outright won, every other idol season. She might have been the first, but she's also one of the best.

Also, Since U Been Gone, seriously, it's life-changing.

So stay tuned next week when we countdown #9-7. I can't promise punch and pie, but I can promise 14-second-long glory notes and palazzo pants. And, really, if you're reading this, that probably feeds the true hunger...in your soul.