Well, this is it! The three best performances in Idol history. This will be a pretty short post, as I will soon be blogging about my thoughts on the first live semi-final round of Season 8 (SPOILER ALERT! almost everyone sucked). So let's get to it!
#3: Clay Aiken - Bridge Over Troubled Water
Oh, The Gayken. I have to admit that I loved/HATED Clay throughout season 2. He was so saccharine, and cheesy, and obviously-closeted-homosexual-in-denialy; but that voice! This performance is great. Clay actually managed to rein in his gayface (kinda), and I don't think he sang a single note out of tune. On this night, I must admit, I LOVED/hated him.
#2: Jennifer Hudson - Weekend in New England
Fun fact: Jenifer Hudson is one of only four people to win an Oscar for acting, and a Grammy for singing. One of four people EVER in the history of those awards. Also, I am obsessed with her.
But let's talk about this performance. The only time I was ever awed during an idol performance comes at the 50 second mark of this song when Jennifer riffs the fiercest holleration that has ever graced the idol stage. This performance also features some sweet soulful notes at the beginning, a crazy-good glory note finish, and the fact that it makes you forget she singing freakin' Weekend in New England. Seriously, if you wanna know the talent it takes to make this song, soulful, powerful, and exciting, go listen to the Barry Manilow version. You'll see what I mean.
Yeah, having her at #2 might be a little biased on my part, although I hold that J-Hud is the single best singer EVER on this show. She's really this high on the countdown because I am obsessed with her, and because I'm still pissed that she actually got kicked off the show the night after this performance. I will never forgive you America. Never.
#1: Fantasia - Believe
Let's get one thing out of the way right up front. This song SUCKS. Really. Hard. That is why I think this, and not "Summertime", is Fantasia's best performance. She takes an awful song, and makes it an emotional gospel-ballad. Also, she's probably the most natural performer in the shows history. Nothing she does on stage looks forced, and she actually looks like she's feeling everything she sings. It's not an act. She might not be the most successful Idol ever, but she's probably the best contestant that show will ever have.
So there's my completely scientific and indisputable countdown of idol dominance. Here's to a great (or at least hilariously awful) new season!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Idol Countdown: #6-4
So I've realized writing about the best Idol performances isn't nearly as fun as ripping on all the crappy people who they put into the top 24+ every year. But alas, I'm basically halfway through so this labor of love let's continue to the amazing end.
#6: Tamyra Gray - House Is Not A Home
We'll ignore Tamyra's choice of rocking an oh so popular Maternity-shirt-with-bell-sleeves look (as that was apparently all the rage at the turn of the millennium). This was, by far, the best idol performance of Season 1. Granted, that's kind of like being the world's tallest midget, or the least gay dude on Gossip Girl, or...the best performer on Season 1 of Idol. But whatever, Tamyra is great.
I also think Tamyra needs a spot here as she totally deserved to win season 1, sorry Kelly, but got jobbed in the first ever surprise elimination. That, coincidentally, was also the first time I uttered the phrase, "Way to go, AMERICA" (it was not, unfortunately, the last. Way to go, Bush administration). In conclusion, Tamyra was awesome and it's a shame a quick wikipedia search let's me know her most recent credits include the role of "singing guest #2" in Rachel Getting Married. LAME.
#5: Elliott Yamin - A Song For You
At last, a gentleman on my countdown! I have to say I am biased towards the ladies, as I once said to my friend Luar, "If a female singer is really really good, she can make your nipples hard". But I also think it has to do with the type of male singers they put on this show. There are very few guys who are just great singers. There are "rockers" whom I admit I don't enjoy as much as others (the reason Daughtry and Bo Bice aren't on this list). There are the gimmicky guys like Blake Lewis or Taylor Hicks. And from the batch of good guy singers, they tend not to have the big singing "moments" that the ladies have.
But Elliott is great. He's not a classic idol belter. He has a wonderful soul voice, one that I still find hard to believe when it comes from that body. Also, I really love this performance because I KNOW I could never sing it. His riffs, and his perfect-for-soul-music tone are just beyond what almost all people can do. He's terrific.
#4: Melinda Doolittle - My Funny Valentine
This is probably the single-best piece of technical singing that's ever been performed on idol. Every note is in tune, in a song that practically begs you to go flat. All of Melinda's runs are perfectly executed and never over-done. Her tone is perfect, even when she's hitting notes in the top of her range they never sound screechy. There is absolutely NOTHING to critique about this performance. God damn it, Melinda. Why did you have to look like Shrek?
So that's it for this part of the countdown. Next week we'll get to the top 3 idol performances ever!!1
#6: Tamyra Gray - House Is Not A Home
We'll ignore Tamyra's choice of rocking an oh so popular Maternity-shirt-with-bell-sleeves look (as that was apparently all the rage at the turn of the millennium). This was, by far, the best idol performance of Season 1. Granted, that's kind of like being the world's tallest midget, or the least gay dude on Gossip Girl, or...the best performer on Season 1 of Idol. But whatever, Tamyra is great.
I also think Tamyra needs a spot here as she totally deserved to win season 1, sorry Kelly, but got jobbed in the first ever surprise elimination. That, coincidentally, was also the first time I uttered the phrase, "Way to go, AMERICA" (it was not, unfortunately, the last. Way to go, Bush administration). In conclusion, Tamyra was awesome and it's a shame a quick wikipedia search let's me know her most recent credits include the role of "singing guest #2" in Rachel Getting Married. LAME.
#5: Elliott Yamin - A Song For You
At last, a gentleman on my countdown! I have to say I am biased towards the ladies, as I once said to my friend Luar, "If a female singer is really really good, she can make your nipples hard". But I also think it has to do with the type of male singers they put on this show. There are very few guys who are just great singers. There are "rockers" whom I admit I don't enjoy as much as others (the reason Daughtry and Bo Bice aren't on this list). There are the gimmicky guys like Blake Lewis or Taylor Hicks. And from the batch of good guy singers, they tend not to have the big singing "moments" that the ladies have.
But Elliott is great. He's not a classic idol belter. He has a wonderful soul voice, one that I still find hard to believe when it comes from that body. Also, I really love this performance because I KNOW I could never sing it. His riffs, and his perfect-for-soul-music tone are just beyond what almost all people can do. He's terrific.
#4: Melinda Doolittle - My Funny Valentine
This is probably the single-best piece of technical singing that's ever been performed on idol. Every note is in tune, in a song that practically begs you to go flat. All of Melinda's runs are perfectly executed and never over-done. Her tone is perfect, even when she's hitting notes in the top of her range they never sound screechy. There is absolutely NOTHING to critique about this performance. God damn it, Melinda. Why did you have to look like Shrek?
So that's it for this part of the countdown. Next week we'll get to the top 3 idol performances ever!!1
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Idol Countdown: #9-7
There have been lots of Idol contestants throughout the years who have, how shall we say this delicately, been pimped to the high heavens by the judges even though they suck balls. This practice really kicked into high gear in recent season when people like David Archuletta were told they were "molten hott lava bombs" even though they had clearly forgotten the words and sang their last note flat.
But there is one person who I feel gets a bad rap. And She occupies the #9 Spot on my countdown:
#9: Jordin Sparks - A Broken Wing
So right away I know you're thinking: if I'm gonna put Jordin Sparks in this countdown I should go with "I Who Have Nothing." I agree, she did well with that song, but I think that one gets more credit than it deserves because it was her first great performance. This song came afterwards, and it was better, but people were just a little more prepared to see it.
But getting back to contestant-pimping, there was a point during this season where it became so clear that the producers wanted Jordin to win that we actually started calling the practice of pimping contestants: Sparksing. However I think, in retrospect, this was unfair to Jordin. She was a fine contestant. Actually other than Melinda she was probably the best that season.
What I'm saying is this: Was Jordin told she was awesome every week even if she wasn't? Yes. Were the judges particularly effusive with their comments? Well, Paula did tell Jordin she was, and I can't make this up, a "gift from heaven". So, yes. Did the producers give her the best clothes and only shoot her in the most flattering way possible? You betcha. But that doesn't take away from the fact that Jordin sang this song REALLY well.
#8: Diana Degarmo - Don't Cry Out Loud
In the history of Idol glory notes, the one Diana rips into around the 1:40 mark, that lasts until the 1:55 mark (15 seconds!), is the single greatest ever. It literally sounds like it will never end. And she doesn't even appear to be out of breath. You have the feeling she could sing that note for a good 2 minutes if she had to.
Also, Diana was kind of like the original Jordin Sparks, except she was a better singer. She was 16, cute, completely innocuous, and had a nice pop voice. Her only problem was she was in the same season as Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson so she was a little overshadowed. Put Diana on season 6 of Idol, instead of Jordin, she could have won. Also, RED PALAZZO PANTS. 'Nuff said.
#7: Katharine McPhee - Over The Rainbow
We might look back on Season 5 of American Idol and realize it was the best ever. It probably had more talent than any other season, along with a wonderful mix of people like Kellie Pickler and Bucky Covington for comedic relief. And out of all the season 5 performances this is my favorite...by a female (we'll get to the other one later).
Kat could be really infuriating at times, with her pension for over-singing and poor song choices. But on this night Simon picked the song, and pretty much demanded she sing it simply, and beautifully. I really don't know what else to say about this song...there's nothing to make fun of. It's just kind of a perfect little piece of singing, and that deserves recognition. OH! Also, as an official friend of Dorothy, I would like Kat to know she has done us proud.
So next week the countdown will feature it's first, but not last, dude. Also, we'll take another journey back to Season 1, where the gypsy-chic motif continues to dominate. See you then!
But there is one person who I feel gets a bad rap. And She occupies the #9 Spot on my countdown:
#9: Jordin Sparks - A Broken Wing
So right away I know you're thinking: if I'm gonna put Jordin Sparks in this countdown I should go with "I Who Have Nothing." I agree, she did well with that song, but I think that one gets more credit than it deserves because it was her first great performance. This song came afterwards, and it was better, but people were just a little more prepared to see it.
But getting back to contestant-pimping, there was a point during this season where it became so clear that the producers wanted Jordin to win that we actually started calling the practice of pimping contestants: Sparksing. However I think, in retrospect, this was unfair to Jordin. She was a fine contestant. Actually other than Melinda she was probably the best that season.
What I'm saying is this: Was Jordin told she was awesome every week even if she wasn't? Yes. Were the judges particularly effusive with their comments? Well, Paula did tell Jordin she was, and I can't make this up, a "gift from heaven". So, yes. Did the producers give her the best clothes and only shoot her in the most flattering way possible? You betcha. But that doesn't take away from the fact that Jordin sang this song REALLY well.
#8: Diana Degarmo - Don't Cry Out Loud
In the history of Idol glory notes, the one Diana rips into around the 1:40 mark, that lasts until the 1:55 mark (15 seconds!), is the single greatest ever. It literally sounds like it will never end. And she doesn't even appear to be out of breath. You have the feeling she could sing that note for a good 2 minutes if she had to.
Also, Diana was kind of like the original Jordin Sparks, except she was a better singer. She was 16, cute, completely innocuous, and had a nice pop voice. Her only problem was she was in the same season as Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson so she was a little overshadowed. Put Diana on season 6 of Idol, instead of Jordin, she could have won. Also, RED PALAZZO PANTS. 'Nuff said.
#7: Katharine McPhee - Over The Rainbow
We might look back on Season 5 of American Idol and realize it was the best ever. It probably had more talent than any other season, along with a wonderful mix of people like Kellie Pickler and Bucky Covington for comedic relief. And out of all the season 5 performances this is my favorite...by a female (we'll get to the other one later).
Kat could be really infuriating at times, with her pension for over-singing and poor song choices. But on this night Simon picked the song, and pretty much demanded she sing it simply, and beautifully. I really don't know what else to say about this song...there's nothing to make fun of. It's just kind of a perfect little piece of singing, and that deserves recognition. OH! Also, as an official friend of Dorothy, I would like Kat to know she has done us proud.
So next week the countdown will feature it's first, but not last, dude. Also, we'll take another journey back to Season 1, where the gypsy-chic motif continues to dominate. See you then!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Countdown: My Top 10 Idol Peformances Ever!
We're back!
So, L&MDJers, it's been a while. Liz and I took an extended break from blogging about Idol (as Idol took an extended break from existing), and from blogging in general. "Why?", you ask. Well, life happens. Some of us are busy with jobs, thriving improv careers, and exciting new relationships, while others are busy getting drunk every night at sing-a-long piano bars that cater to elder gay men by exclusively playing musical standards like "Edelweiss". Ahhh, life.
Anywho, in honor of the upcoming 8th, yes 8th, season of AI, I've decided to countdown my 10 favorite Idol performances ever. But before we get to my #10 pick, there are some rules to go over.
1) These are MY favorite Idol performances. So there will be moments that aren't on this list because, although I realize they are great, they are not MY favorites.
2) This is only a top 10 list. I could probably list my 30 favorite performances, and this particular post will contain my honorable mentions, but that seems a little much.
3) Where the contestant placed, and where their careers have gone since, in no way factors into my decision. For example, Carrie Underwood doesn't get a spot on my list because, although she's sold 5 billion country albums, she was basically a lobotomized fembot the entire time she was on AI. Seriously, if anyone has a clip of her moving her facial muscles, or NOT swaying awkwardly during fast songs, I would love to see it.
So before I reveal my #10 pick, here are my honorable mentions, and my "yeah I know others think these are awesome but I'm just not as into them":
Some Honorable Mentions - Justin Guarini "Get Here"; Kelly Clarkson "Respect"; Kimberly Locke "Over The Rainbow", "New York State of Mind", and "Inseperable"; Ruben Studdard "Superstar"; LaToya London "All By Myself", "Somewhere"; Jennifer Hudson "Circle of Life"; Paris Bennet "These Foolish Things"; Melinda Doolittle "Home"; Lakisha Jones "This Ain't a Love Song"; Brooke White "Love is a Battlefield"; Jason Castro "Over the Rainbow"
Other People's Faves - Kelly Clarkson "Stuff Like That There"; Clay Aiken "Solitaire"; Carrie Underwood "Alone"; Bo Bice "In a Dream"; Chris Daughtry "Hemorrhage"; Anything Taylor Hicks ever did; Blake Lewis "You Give Love a Bad Name"; Any David Cook song; David Archuletta "Imagine"; Jason Castro "Hallelujah"
OK, so hopefully that will appease those who don't see their favorites on my completely scientific and indisputable list of Idol perfection.
#10: Kelly Clarkson - "Don't Play That Song"
Ok, so after all my rules and standards my first entry is kind of a cop-out. I love Kelly Clarkson. And throughout her run on Idol she had a lot of good performances, but never one defining moment. It's funny because, since Kelly, every Idol winner has that one song everyone remembers them performing.
But anyway, I think out of all Kelly's good performances, this one is her best. She kills all the high notes with infuriating (if you're a singer) ease. She growls and mugs in all the right places. She wears some kind of asymmetrical gypsy/hooker outfit. It's perfect. I am convinced that Kelly would have finished in the top 3, if not outright won, every other idol season. She might have been the first, but she's also one of the best.
Also, Since U Been Gone, seriously, it's life-changing.
So stay tuned next week when we countdown #9-7. I can't promise punch and pie, but I can promise 14-second-long glory notes and palazzo pants. And, really, if you're reading this, that probably feeds the true hunger...in your soul.
So, L&MDJers, it's been a while. Liz and I took an extended break from blogging about Idol (as Idol took an extended break from existing), and from blogging in general. "Why?", you ask. Well, life happens. Some of us are busy with jobs, thriving improv careers, and exciting new relationships, while others are busy getting drunk every night at sing-a-long piano bars that cater to elder gay men by exclusively playing musical standards like "Edelweiss". Ahhh, life.
Anywho, in honor of the upcoming 8th, yes 8th, season of AI, I've decided to countdown my 10 favorite Idol performances ever. But before we get to my #10 pick, there are some rules to go over.
1) These are MY favorite Idol performances. So there will be moments that aren't on this list because, although I realize they are great, they are not MY favorites.
2) This is only a top 10 list. I could probably list my 30 favorite performances, and this particular post will contain my honorable mentions, but that seems a little much.
3) Where the contestant placed, and where their careers have gone since, in no way factors into my decision. For example, Carrie Underwood doesn't get a spot on my list because, although she's sold 5 billion country albums, she was basically a lobotomized fembot the entire time she was on AI. Seriously, if anyone has a clip of her moving her facial muscles, or NOT swaying awkwardly during fast songs, I would love to see it.
So before I reveal my #10 pick, here are my honorable mentions, and my "yeah I know others think these are awesome but I'm just not as into them":
Some Honorable Mentions - Justin Guarini "Get Here"; Kelly Clarkson "Respect"; Kimberly Locke "Over The Rainbow", "New York State of Mind", and "Inseperable"; Ruben Studdard "Superstar"; LaToya London "All By Myself", "Somewhere"; Jennifer Hudson "Circle of Life"; Paris Bennet "These Foolish Things"; Melinda Doolittle "Home"; Lakisha Jones "This Ain't a Love Song"; Brooke White "Love is a Battlefield"; Jason Castro "Over the Rainbow"
Other People's Faves - Kelly Clarkson "Stuff Like That There"; Clay Aiken "Solitaire"; Carrie Underwood "Alone"; Bo Bice "In a Dream"; Chris Daughtry "Hemorrhage"; Anything Taylor Hicks ever did; Blake Lewis "You Give Love a Bad Name"; Any David Cook song; David Archuletta "Imagine"; Jason Castro "Hallelujah"
OK, so hopefully that will appease those who don't see their favorites on my completely scientific and indisputable list of Idol perfection.
#10: Kelly Clarkson - "Don't Play That Song"
Ok, so after all my rules and standards my first entry is kind of a cop-out. I love Kelly Clarkson. And throughout her run on Idol she had a lot of good performances, but never one defining moment. It's funny because, since Kelly, every Idol winner has that one song everyone remembers them performing.
But anyway, I think out of all Kelly's good performances, this one is her best. She kills all the high notes with infuriating (if you're a singer) ease. She growls and mugs in all the right places. She wears some kind of asymmetrical gypsy/hooker outfit. It's perfect. I am convinced that Kelly would have finished in the top 3, if not outright won, every other idol season. She might have been the first, but she's also one of the best.
Also, Since U Been Gone, seriously, it's life-changing.
So stay tuned next week when we countdown #9-7. I can't promise punch and pie, but I can promise 14-second-long glory notes and palazzo pants. And, really, if you're reading this, that probably feeds the true hunger...in your soul.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Blogging SYTYCD
The Jamboree would like to thank Ted at Blogging SYTYCD for linking to us in this week's round-up of SYTYCD news. Check that blog for more thorough discussion of the best show in the world than we could ever hope to achieve. Thanks, Ted!
Monday, May 26, 2008
SYTYCD: Four Unintentionally Hilarious Dances
So, I was thinking I'd celebrate the return of the best show in the world by providing a few video clips of what are, in my esteem, some of the best and worst dances in all three seasons of the show. Then I scrapped that idea because frankly, there are too many "best" dances, and even the "worst" dances are still good... especially to someone like me, whose dancing best resembles the Hamburgular trying to make a break for it.
What SYTYCD has in spades, however, are routines that are not necessarily bad but are unintentionally laugh out loud funny. Intentionally funny routines do not qualify for this distinction, so Tranji didn't make the cut. Here are my Top Four Unintentionally Hilarious Dances:
4. "Push It," Sara and Danny, Season 3
This routine got totally panned on the show. It wasn't actually bad, but the costuming was pretty cruel. Unintentionally funny because Danny was one of the most stoic, serious performers in that collection of finalists, and watching him do this choreography in this outfit was the same kind of funny you get when you dress a cat in doll clothes. Not that I love doing that.
What SYTYCD has in spades, however, are routines that are not necessarily bad but are unintentionally laugh out loud funny. Intentionally funny routines do not qualify for this distinction, so Tranji didn't make the cut. Here are my Top Four Unintentionally Hilarious Dances:
4. "Push It," Sara and Danny, Season 3
This routine got totally panned on the show. It wasn't actually bad, but the costuming was pretty cruel. Unintentionally funny because Danny was one of the most stoic, serious performers in that collection of finalists, and watching him do this choreography in this outfit was the same kind of funny you get when you dress a cat in doll clothes. Not that I love doing that.
3. "The Scream Heard 'Round the World," Dmitry, Season 2
This solo was Dmitry's last-ditch effort not to get voted off the show after he had assisted in the elimination of something like four consecutive partners. When this originally aired, Mike and I watched it with our three roommates, and like magic, all five of us let out an exactly pitch-matched squeal at the end. The funniest thing to me in retrospect is that Dmitry rips off his shirt after the music has already ended. Like, "Oh... and THIS!" I love him so much.
2. "Late Night in the J.C. Penney Stockroom," Pasha, Season 3
Okay, so Pasha is a Latin specialist. He usually dances with a partner. I think the intended effect here was "I'll dance with a mannequin so my solo resembles a partner dance." Now, imagine how that would come off in reality: that is exactly how it goes. The whole thing is balls-out ridiculous. Then he does an impromptu roundoff at the end... for no reason.
1. "Flashdance," Ashlee and Ben, Season 2
It's the very first performance show of Season 2, and the most awkward looking couple on the show draws "80s Disco" as their genre. Is that even a genre? And the music is "Flashdance." And it's choreographed by Doriana Sanchez, and accordingly features some of the most copious cunniliftus ever seen. This routine was just so, so mean. Introducing it, even Cat knows we're about to witness an absolute travesty. This is probably one of my favorite routines in all three seasons of the show, because the two of them are such damn good sports about something so pointedy intended to wreak misery on everyone involved. And isn't that what dancing is all about?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Apocalypse Now: The Real World comes to Brooklyn
Oh Christ. So the rumor is MTV's classic (re: wicked old) reality TV series is coming to...Brooklyn. If the rumors are true it's coming to my home turf of Williamsburg, Brooklyn to be exact. Now, at the rate my current neighb is gentrifying I guess I can't say I'm totally surprised that MTV would leach onto it's aura of urban hipster glam. But seriously? The Real World? I think we have a new definition of when an up-and-coming area jumps the shark. The previous definition was: The CW's 'Gossip Girl' uses your neighborhood as it's location for the family "from the wrong side of the tracks."
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Anyway, I hope the updated sign above makes the 20-something wannabe singers and actors (and maybe prostitutes? have we moved onto them yet?) feel right at home! Welcome to the neighborhood!
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